On reaching the age of twenty-two…..

          A great and very ironical time that it is, I’m forced to think, from where did I get so much courage to do stuff I always wanted to do! What led me to bring all my frustration out? Why did I let myself loose and did not hesitate to write a poem after years? Its a sad, melancholic poem, but, nevertheless, it is a poem. Believe me, its the best way to relieve yourself.

A realization dawned on me. That I was perhaps fearing for nothing! That what one wants to do, no matter how wild or insane it might be, can be done if you simply have the courage to take the 1st step. And, if you can really prevent yourself from remaining firm no matter what the society or the world or, let’s say, even your so-called ‘well-wishers’ say. I remember the great Odia poet Jayanta Mohapatra’s words when he came to our college last year, “You have one life to live, Its better to do whatever you wanna do than stay behind fearing for the worst which might not happen if you simply take the plunge.”

And, then there is Frederick Nietzsche who said, “Morality is just a fiction used by the herd of inferior human beings to hold back the few superior ones.” You can always have your opinion on this quote by this unconventional man, but, if you come to the very basic interpretation of it, what do you get? What exactly is morality? Not to be out-going when our culture, specifically, instructs us to stay put? Or, not to dance with boys at parties and pubs because, being the forebearer of culture in our country, as a woman, you need to be like Kate Winslet’s character ‘Rose’ in ‘Titanic’? Or, be the opposite of SRK’s character in ‘Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Ghum’ and marry the girl (no matter how much you hate her) whom your father chooses because going for an arranged marriage makes you a better son? The list goes on……and, wait, both men and women suffer in it! Yes, suffer! Damn right! I agree with this man who died of a sexually transmitted disease……eventually!

Recently I attended a marriage ceremony where I happened to overhear an anxious mother worried about her daughter’s refusal to get married. The lady was complaining how our generation doesn’t want to not just talk, but even hear about marriage; how we young girls give tonnes of tension to our parents because we don’t wanna do what they did….and how love marriage is so very immoral in so many ways. I personally believe, that there is nothing like arranged marriage remaining successful always and love marriage ending in tragedy every time. The reason why most arranged marriages don’t break is because no matter what the couple wants, the family never allows them to go their separate ways. And, the new ‘fashion’, love marriage comes across as an impulsive decision by many young lovers who rush to marry and then rush again to have divorce.

I have been reading articles on this ‘fast and furious’ relationships of the current era where you meet one day, go on a date the next day, sleep with each other on the 3rd day and break-up on the 4th day. The times of taking things slow are over. But, is it really important to do what everybody else is doing?

Being a virgin is a rarity these days. I can’t exactly say I’m proud of being one, but I also don’t think its a matter of pride if I lose it simply because its the order of the day! And in any case, I never did something just because everybody else is doing it. If we don’t make decisions by ourselves, we have no right to call ourselves mature. On reaching my 22nd year in this mad, mad world, that’s what comes to my mind.

There is no morality anyway. Its an excuse to remind yourself how many people are gonna assassinate your character if you happen to be with guy friends and its somewhat late.

I was that kinda person. Scared of what people would say and being a complete people -pleaser! All it gave me was tonnes of frustration because while on one hand I was extremely jealous of all the guys because they got to do whatever they wanted to, on the other I was very sissy to even voice my opinion on it. Ever since I gave up on that, I’m better, more contented, peaceful! And, I’m loving it! Yes, you are not people’s favorite when you defy conventions and you hear a lot of things against you, but, hell….who cares? We got one life, one chance to do whatever we want!

As for parents, you just need to prove that you are in control of yourself and the people whom you trust are worthy of it. And, they too can trust them. Isn’t that what maturity is all about? You start to understand how can u trust people. Totally worth it!

I hope this saga continues, unabashedly, unashamedly, without any useless botheration! This is my wish on the beginning of my 22nd year!Image



One thought on “On reaching the age of twenty-two…..

  1. I liked nietzsche’s quote!.. Perfect placement of words in that para. And I do agree on the take on fast-track marriages, though virginity and morality could have been left out.. Keep writing. 🙂

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